hot chicks at…work?

Being in a tech company, in New England, predisposes you to being around really … homely women. Put it simply – it’s just not Cali.

So naturally, as the new hire, I’m deadly curious whether there’s any hot girls (girls meaning my age, not that I demean women on a regular basis) at work. I’m lucky enough to have an office with a window, so I get a nice scenic view of our parking lot. One day, I swear I saw a hot girl getting into a navy Impreza and pulling out. But she had on huge sunglasses and I couldn’t make a solid call.

Now I’ve moved into another office overlooking a different section of the parking lot. This morning, I’m working away, and then I see the navy Impreza roll by, with the same girl driving. Not enough time to get a good look. I say to myself, alright, you have to find out or else it’ll just bug you. Hot or not? So I try time leaving my office to walk toward the cafeteria to get my daily Diet Coke (is that worse than coffee? could be) so that I swing by the front lobby at the same time she’s entering the building. Creepy? I guess it would seem that way if you don’t know me. To defend myself, I’d have to say it’s my intense desire to be able to say to my friends, yeah, there is a hot chick at work. Anyways, I get down to the lobby only to hear the door toward the other wing of the building close. Aaghh. Musta just missed her. Well, still gotta get that Diet Coke.

So the truth is still out there.

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OBX

This is something that is really pissing me off. I’ve lived in NC a lot, and am quite proud of the state, despite constant bagging from friends and people in general.

You see people occasionally driving around with a white oval bumper sticker that says OBX, and you’re like, WTF is that? http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=obx
That’s the ADD version. Anyways, OBX means you’ve visited the Outer Banks in North Carolina. HH and TI are also legit ones, standing for Hilton Head and Topsail Island, respectively.

It used to be the poser thing to do was to have one of those stickers even though you’d never been. Whatever. Now, though, the trend is pouring over into the general pop culture. For example, The same white oval sticker, but with like, a silhouette of a golden retriever. Or “Houston.” That’s bullshit. I want my exclusivity back. Which isn’t NC’s birthright anyways, since apparently the sticker phenomon came from Germany. Fuggin Chuck Norris.

traffic pt. 2

People always say that driving 65 and driving 80 on highways doesn’t make a big difference. That’s sort of true. On my commute, I should only expect to see a speed-up of 7 minutes. And probably waste a lot of gas. So it’s there, just not as much as doing 25 over the speed limit seems like it might. As for speeding that much, big deal. The cops don’t come out to nab the poor wage-slaves coming out in droves to work. Plus, there’s tons of cop cars on the shoulders with their lights flashing, protecting DOT teams doing repair and cleanup work. It sort of desensitizes you to the possibility of being pulled over. I mean, one day, there was a cop standing out beside his car shooting a radar gun up the hill at us, and I just went right by him at 80 as usual. You know how you really stop people from speeding? You put up crosses and a little memorial altar wherever someone dies in a brutal car accident. You can see that all over the South. Nothing like a cross to put fear of God into you. Oh wait, this is pagan country; it’ll never work.

So, you’re a programmer, huh?

“The COBOL Generation capabilities from Rational not only give organizations the ability to utilize existing development talent, but also allow them to hire recent college graduates with little to no COBOL experience and have them writing code for the mainframe in no time at all.”

Yeah, that’s what I got a CS degree for, to program in COBOL. These damn mainframe legacy infrastructures suck.

the grind

What is working as an engineer like? Let me try to draw an analogy to fantasy war games. Or LOTR, what have you.

Your typical engineer is like a soldier with a sword. Very light armor, no shield, just a sword. He’s good at one thing, and that’s cutting things. If you tell him, he’ll go and try to cut a house down. Not very clever. Maybe a clever senior engineer will come over and say, hey, just burn it down.

Here’s where managers come in. Managers are like paladins. They don’t fight very well, but they have great armor and auras. If you don’t know, an aura is like a beneficial force field. Any soldier within a certain distance of a paladin will experience the good effects of his aura, like being motivated, or faster movement. The paladin needs to protect soldiers in his charge with his armor, and also provide direction for his team.

I can’t wait for the day when my manager gets me well enough for me to say to him, “hey, can you cast Thorns for me?” and for him to still get it. And not think I’m retarded.

drive to work

I live in a big city in the Northeast. The roads are painfully designed and can’t support the driving demand around here. My work is out in the middle of nowhere, 35 miles away. Every morning is a 45min-1 hour drive for me. It sucks. But all along the way, I see a traffic jam going the other way. Every day on the radio, I hear reports of stop-and-go traffic along my route, but going into the city.

I waste 2 hours of my life every day on the road. But those people driving into the city, damn, what are they thinking? To live in the burbs and have no culture at all, and then to drive probably 2 hours each way or so into the city. They are clearly idiots.

Another interesting point: If I leave at 8:00, I get there at 8:50. 8:15, get there at 9:20. 8:30, I arrive at almost 10:00. If I wake up late, I don’t plan to leave until 10:30, so the traffic is all cleared up. I hope.

I believe I can fly.

That is a good song. Did R. Kelly write it? Is it original? Who cares.
I luv it.

“I think about it every night and day.”
What does he think about? Flying? No, I think something else.

Why blog?

I’m one of those people who thinks his opinions and ideas are important, to the point that others need to read about them. And it feels so good to talk at the world even if it isn’t listening. So here’s a record of stuff I do and things I think about. Mostly for my friends to see what I’m up to. But maybe more.

But what’s my identity? Can’t give that up. I’m an engineer in a big corporation, and you can get fired for the wrong comment, if they find it. So rather than stay polite, I’ll just stay incognito. It’s hella lame, but hey, not worth my job.